Get to know me a little better and check out my FAVES
I guess I'll just start from the start, sounds a little like David Copperfield but very smart.
TODAY-I'm dealing with so many things and I hope that I can be of help to others who my feel lost or alone with some of the dumb old mental issues-check my MENTAL page to learn about my anxiety, panic, depression and Post Traumatic Stress. Also issues with dealing with loss of a spouse, friends and being a mother of an autistic son.
I WAS BORN
I was born in NKC, and now live in Plattsburg, MO, by way of Parkville, Smithville, Gladstone, in MO. Lived in Houston, TX for a few months, and in Des Moines and Creston, IA for a few years and keep coming home. After my son was born it was only natural to come back near family-his cousins and aunts and uncles. We were able to buy a house with cash from a settlement for Joe's back and set our roots pretty deep here. (check out the before and after house pics)
I went to Smithville High School from 3rd grade to just before my Junior year. Wasn't exactly the best years of my but definitely a start to the shaping of who I have been and have become. I made a lot of wonderful friends and met some meanies. I went back to the 20 year reunion a couple weeks ago and I feel so much better about all of my years there. They were very welcoming, grown up and have more in common then I would have imagined. So thank you Smithvillians.
I moved to Gladstone just before my Junior year, not the best time to go from a teeny tiny school to a big giant school. I met some very very good friends who I am still in contact with and getting back in contact with. Then there's the others, you know who they are, they haven't changed much. But I do have happy memories and some lasting friendships. Thanks Tonka. I' also started and alumni group for our decade and with almost a thousand members I'm very proud that people have been able to reconnect and get together again.
I think I'm a little unusual for my age, but I am totally real. I enjoy reading when I have time to sit and rest by myself, but mostly, I'm a TV junkie, reality shows and soaps are my faves, and older classics from my childhood. I also like to play Wii Rock Band and computer games. I like Sims2 and World of Warcraft. I love time management and hidden object games, I find them relaxing. Facebook games tick me off cuz I'm addicted to them I think. ") I'm a bigtime dreamer but am still very appreciative of what I have.
My faith has deepened, the older I've gotten and even more since Joe died. I believe I've seen some of how God works and learned that why and how are questions only He knows the answer to and certainly isn't required to share them with me. I trust that He knows what he's doing and I will do my best to go with His flow whether is jives with my plans or not.
I haven't discovered my special talent yet, but I know it's there. I actually think I have a lot of them, but lack the patience or focus to pursue any of them individually. One of these days, who knows, maybe I'll finish that novel or design a line of clothing, or create the funniest comic strip or best childrens book, or the number one sitcom of the year, or maybe I'll just be remembered by someone as the best mommy or the nicest girl they've ever met or someone that has a heart of gold and cares about everyone, someone who wanted to save the world, whatever God intends for me is fine with me. I just started drawing and writing again and think that I might be "not so bad" at it. ")
I CAN cook, I just hate it-I do NOT iron and could care less about the yard, I'm a chronic list maker, and big time procrastinator, but I have a big heart and do my best to be my best. I try to treat everyone equal, but can certainly hold a grudge. I am also just chock full of advice, I want to help everyone that needs help, but am learning that I can't, so I try to just really show I care.
All in all, I've learned at 35 to accept who I am, the way I am, and I am actually starting to really like myself. There will always be things to change, but the things that don't hurt me or others I'm just gonna leave alone. Life is too short to keep working to change things that don't need to be changed.
YEAH RIGHT-DO OVER
I've learned in the last 5 years that I can overcome anything. I can depend on myself as long as I can depend on the Lord. I'm stronger now in some ways, I stand up for what I believe more and fight for it especially when it comes to those I care about. My anxiety and panic however has gotten worse, I've got a lot of healing to do. The day Joe died all the work I had done to overcome my anxiety went with him, it was all justified, and so worse than ever, but I'll overcome that too.
